literature

Daisy and Dexter Quickies 6

Deviation Actions

Ben-the-looney's avatar
Published:
2.6K Views

Literature Text

"Curiosity Killed the Dog"
(Daisy is making something in a blender)
(Dexter is reading the newspaper)
Dexter: Boring... Boring... Boring. To heck with this!
(Dexter throws a majority of the newspaper away and then starts reading the comics section)
Dexter: That's better.
(A yellow dog comes in the alley)
Dog: Hello!
Dexter: Ahh! Who the heck are you?
Toast: My name is Toast, I just moved in.
Dexter: Well, you just can't go barging in on people's houses.
Toast: Oh, sorry. I have a little problem.
Daisy: Well, hello there. Did you say your name is Toast?
Toast: Yes.
Dexter: Heh, if her name's Toast, then my name is Jelly.
Toast: Nice to meet you, Jelly.
Daisy: You changed your name?
Dexter: No! My name is Dexter.
Toast: I thought it was...
Dexter: I was joking!
Toast: Oh, sorry.
Daisy: So, Toast. What brings you around to these parts?
Toast: Well, I was snooping around in the previous town I live in, when I saw a truck. I look to see what was in the trunk, and then I got knocked out and woke up here.
Daisy: Interesting.
Dexter: You sound like you have some sort of problem.
Toast: Oh, yes. I do. I...
(Toast sees the blender)
Toast: Ooh... What's that?
(Toast sticks her head in the blender and accidently hits the on button on it)
(Grinding is heard and it shows Dexter's reaction)
Dexter: Oh, goshdang!
(Toast lifts her head out of the blender and her face is all scratched up)
Toast: Ow.
Daisy: Toast, are you alright?
Toast: Yeah, I that happens a lot due to my problem.
Daisy: What's your problem?
Toast: Well, It's...
(Toast sees a blanket)
Toast: What's under that blanket.
(Toast lifts up the blanket and sees that there's a monster)
(The monster grabs Toast and beats her up)
(Toast then comes out from under the blanket)
Dexter: Holy smoley.
Daisy: Toast, are you okay?
Toast: Yeah, just a phew scratches. It's all apart of my problem.
Daisy and Dexter: What is your problem?
Toast: I have...
(Toast sees a TV)
Toast: Ooh... I wonder what's on TV.
(Toast turns on the TV)
Announcer: And now, the hit new reality show, "I'm A Celebrity, I Need to Lose Weight While Trying to Get Marraid!"
Toast: (In pain) Ahh! My IQ!
(Toast turns the TV off)
Daisy: Toast...?
Toast: I'm okay.
Dexter: Wow, and I thought I was the only one who got hurt on this show.
Toast: It's all thanks to this dang problem I have.
Daisy: What is the problem?
Toast: Well, I...
(Toast sees the corner of the fourth wall)
Toast: Ooh, what's that?
Dexter: Don't touch that!
(Toast grabs apart of the background and tears it, cutting off have the of screen)
Toast: Oops.
Dexter: You moron!
(Dexter puts the background back)
Toast: Sorry, it's all because of my problem. Wanna know what it is?
Dexter: I alread know! So get the heck out of here before you cause anymore mayhem!
(Dexter shoves Toast out the door)
Toast: Okay, nice meeting...
(Toast sees a man hole)
Toast: Ooh... I wonder what's in that hole.
(Toast looks in the hole and falls in it)
Toast: Ahhh!!
(Splash!)
Dexter: That poor dog. It's a shame.
Daisy: I know. We never found out what here problem was.
Dexter: (Facepalms himself)
THE END.

"Know your Stars #2"
Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars.
(Daisy is sitting in a chair)
Announcer: Daisy Dog, she is allergic to chocolate.
Daisy: Actually, I am. How did you know?
Announcer: Um... Daisy Dog, she thinks Dexter is cute.
Daisy: Well, he may be a jerk sometimes, but he is a little adorable when he's angry.
Announcer: Well... Daisy Dog, I'm breaking into her car right now.
Daisy: I don't even have a car.
Announcer: Dagnabit! I'm making fun of you, your supposed to get angry!
Daisy: Why?
Announcer: It's funny!
Daisy: I don't think it's funny when people are angry, it's kinda mean.
Announcer: Arrghh! Now you know, Daisy Dog.
Daisy: They already knew me. Who are you anyway? Hello? James Earl Jones? Is that you?
(It fades to black)

"Ask Dexter #3"
(Dexter has a rob on and he's smoking a pipe and reading a book)
(Dexter sees the camera)
Dexter: Oh, hello. I didn't see you there. Welcome again to "Ask Dexter."
(Classical music plays)
Dexter: Todays letter is by Ineeda Life from Sacremento, Florida. She writes... (Dexter is reading the letter) "Dear Dexter, I love The Jonas Brothers, I know the words to everyone of there songs. Could you send me a picture of The Jonas Brothers, please?"
(Dexter drops the letter)
Dexter: That's a very nice questin, Kathy. Let me look in my picture box to see what I got.
(Dexter grabs a picture box and starts looking through them)
Dexter: I got a picture of me, Daisy, Matty and Patty, Felix, Fritz, Dr. Merkenstein...
Dr. Eekenstein: (Offscreen) It's Eekenstein!!
Dexter: (Keeps going through pictures) A picture of me with Ben T., Cunning Cat, a picture of me at the last Christmas party, which I can't show you. And a picture of all of the cartoon characters at Shad TV debut. Huh, it looks like I've got know pictures of the Jonas Brothers. Do you know why? Because this is a cartoon channel! There are no teen sitcoms, bad singers or stupid boy bands. Do you understand? What are you doing listening to the Jonas Brothers anyway? They're music stinks! They sound like girls, they don't write their own music, and they ripoff The Beatles. I bet you don't know the words to any of their songs! You only like them because you think they look good! So, thanks for this stupid letter! How do you sleep at night knowing you killed a tree to write this letter?!
(Dexter throws the letter down)
Dexter: So, that was Ask Dexter. I hope you enjoyed it. So, see you next time. Ask your stupid questions today.
THE END.

"Putting A Clam on It"
(Dexter is sitting at a table)
Dexter: Hurry up with that clam chowder, Daisy. I'm so hungry my stomach is cursing at me.
Dexter's Stomach: Come on! Give me some (Bleep) food! I'm (Bleep) starving!
Dexter: Watch your language, mister.
Daisy: I'm coming, keep your skin on.
(Daisy brings to bowls of clam chowder to the table)
(Daisy sits down next to him)
Dexter: Oh boy, clam chowder.
(Dexter drops a cracker in there and looks away)
(A clam comes out of the bowl and eats the cracker)
(Dexter looks at the bowl)
Dexter: Hey!? Where did my cracker go?
(Dexter grabs Daisy)
Dexter: Why did you take that cracker in my bowl?!
Daisy: I didn't do it?
Dexter: Oh, I suppose the cracker just disappered, huh?
Daisy: It's a possibilty.
Dexter: Dang it!
(Dexter puts another cracker in there and a clam eats it)
Dexter: What the!? Where are the crackers going!?
(Dexter puts another cracker in there)
Dexter: I'm not taking my eyes off of you.
(Dexter starts staring at the cracker)
Daisy: Dexter, pass the salt.
(Dexter gives Daisy the salt)
Dexter: Here you go.
(Dexter looks back at the cracker and it's gone)
Dexter: Dadgumit! Why does this keep happening?!
(Dexter thinks)
Dexter: Daisy, how fresh are the clams in there?
Daisy: I just put them in.
Dexter: That means they're still alive.
(Dexter grabs a cracker and puts in the bowl while holding onto it)
Dexter: Let's see that stupid clam take a bite while I'm holdin...
(Dexter is bitten by a clam)
Dexter: Ow!
(The clam laughs at him)
Dexter: I'll show you.
(Dexter grabs a cracker and puts pepper on it)
(Dexter puts it in the bowl)
(The clam eats it and then sneezes)
Dexter: Excuse you! (Laughs)
(The clam sprays water at him)
Dexter: That's it! I'm coming in there!
(Dexter dives in the bowl)
(Daisy watches the bowl as the bowl is simulating a fight going on in there)
(Dexter head comes out)
Dexter: Well, that clam put up a fight, but he promised to stop eating my crackers if I gave him something in return.
Daisy: What did you give him?
(Dexter hops out of the bowl and his body from the neck down is gone)
Dexter: He drove a hard bargain.
THE END

"Good Dolly, Miss Molly"
(Dexter is sitting down)
Dexter: Man, I hate this. Peace and quiet, and yet as soon as I start enjoying myself, Daisy comes in with something unusual.
(Daisy comes in the alley)
Daisy: Dexter, look what I found!
(Daisy holds up a doll)
Dexter: Holy smokey! What's that?!
Daisy: It's a doll. I named her Molly.
Dexter: So it is. Now, get rid of it!
Daisy: Why?
Dexter: I can't say.
Daisy: (Big sad eyed face) Please!!!
Dexter: Alright, just promise you won't say anything or laugh.
Daisy: I promise.
Dexter: (Whispers in Daisy's ear) I'm afraid of dolls.
(Daisy bursts out laughing that the whole world hears her)
Dexter: Hey, you said you would'nt laugh.
Daisy: (Stops laughing) Well, I can't help it! How could you be afraid of a little doll.
Dexter: I don't know. They just creep me out.
Daisy: You have nothing to worry about, dolls can't walk, talk or kill. Now, just relax.
(Dexter sits down)
Daisy: I'll set Molly right here, and I'll go make some lunch.
(Daisy puts the doll right next to Dexter)
Dexter: Daisy's right, I've got nothing to worry about. Dolls can't walk.
(Molly starts walking)
Dexter: (Worried) Or...talk.
Molly: I'm little Ms. Molly, and I love you.
Dexter: (Scared) Or...kill.
Molly: I'm little Ms. Molly, and I'm going to kill you.
Dexter: Heh, heh. Boy, I could've swarn that doll just said it was going to kill me. (Laughs) Man, am I crazy.
(Molly pulls out a knife)
Dexter: (Laughs) I'm really crazy, I think that knife looks real.
(Molly slices some of Dexter's fur off)
Dexter: (Scared) It's real. Ahhh!!
(Dexter runs away)
Molly: Come play with me, Dexter.
Dexter: Get away from me you cotten filled demon!
(Dexter starts throwing things at the doll but it keeps walking)
Molly: We're going to have so much fun, Dexter.
Dexter: Stay away!
(Dexter keeps running from the doll)
(Dexter then dresses up as a random person)
(Molly walks up to Dexter)
Molly: Excuse me, random person. Did you see a cat run by here?
Dexter: (Points to the stove) Him go that-a-way.
Molly: Thank you.
(Molly hops in the stove and Dexter shots the stove)
Dexter: Hah!
(Dexter lights a stick of dynamite)
Dexter: Say hello to Elvis for me!
(Dexter throws the dynamite in the stove and it blows up in the stove)
Dexter: Phew. That's over with. Unless this is going to be one of those stupid horror movie cliches where the hero thinks the killer is dead but it turns out it's actually still alive.
(Dexter opens the stove and Molly comes out)
Dexter: Yep.
Molly: I'm Ms. Molly, and I'm going to kill you, bring you back to life, and kill you again.
Dexter: Sounds evil, and painful. Ahh!
(Dexter tries to run but Molly jumps on Dexter and starts beating him up)
Dexter: Ow! Ow! Ow! For having hands made out of cotten, they sure do hurt! Ow!
(Daisy comes in and sees Molly beating up Dexter)
Daisy: (Gasps) Molly!
(Daisy picks up Molly)
Daisy: Silly me, I forget to switch it's swicth from evil to good.
(Daisy turns a switch on the back of the doll from evil to good)
Molly: I'm Ms. Molly, and I love you, Dexter.
Dexter: Aww, come her you.
(Molly then pulls out a knife and the iris outs on her)
Dexter: Ow!
(The iris comes back in)
Molly: Fooled you, it's rubber.
(Molly shows the knife is made of rubber)
Molly: (Giggles)
THE END

"Tele-Phonies"
(A woman's phone rings)
(The woman picks up the phone)
Woman: Hello?
(Fuzzy is on the other end of the phone)
Fuzzy: Is Ineeda there?
Woman: Ineeda who?
Fuzzy: Ineeda Life.
(Fuzzy starts laughing)
Woman: That really wasn't that funny.
(Fuzzy puts the phone down)
(Fuzzy and Jack start laughing)
Jack: (Laughing) That was funny.
Fuzzy: Yeah, but it's about to get better.
(Fuzzy dials the phone)
Fuzzy: Ssh. It's ringing.
(He turns out to be calling Goldberg (Look him up if you don't know who he is))
Goldberg: Hello.
Fuzzy: (Brooklyn accent) Yeah, Goldberg.
Goldberg: Who is this?
Fuzzy: Vince Russo (Look him up if you don't know who he is).
Goldberg: Russo, you bad writing son of a gun, what do you want?
Fuzzy: I just wanted to say, your new show "Bullrun" stinks.
Goldberg: (Tear falls down his face) First you kill WCW, now you kill my pride. I'm coming to get you.
(Goldberg hangs up the phone)
Fuzzy: (Laughs) He thought I was Vince Russo.
Jack: Who's Vince Russo?
Fuzzy: Look him up.
Jack: Okay, I've got an idea.
(Jack dials the phone)
(Dexter picks up his phone)
Dexter: Hello.
Jack: Hi.
Dexter: Jack, is that you?
Jack: Yes.
Dexter: Why did you call?
Jack: To say hello.
Dexter: But, you said hi.
Jack: What?
Dexter: Anyway, Jack why did you call to say hi? We live two alleys from eachother, we can talk whenever you want.
Jack: Wha...?
Dexter: Goodbye.
(Dexter hangs up the phone)
Dexter: What a moron.
(Fuzzy is mad)
Fuzzy: Jack, that was terrible! If you're going to crank call someone, you've got to make it work.
Jack: Oh, sorry.
Fuzzy: Anyway, I wonder what's going on with Goldberg?
(Meanwhile, at Vince Russo's home)
Vince: (Writing things down) Let's see, in TNA, AJ Styles could have a good feud with Hernadez, that's something new.
(His doorbelll rings)
Vince: Oh, dagnab protestors. How many times do I have to tell them I didn't kill WCW.
(Vince goes to the door and Goldberg is there)
Vince: Goldberg?! What are you...?
(Goldberg grabs Vince)
Goldberg: Russo, you had this coming for a long time!
(Goldberg tosses Vince across his house)
(Goldberg starts beating up Russo)
Goldberg: This is what you get for firing me from WCW, putting the belt on David Arqutte, putting the belt on yourself, and for prank calling me today and saying "Bullrun" stinks!
Vince: What!? I haven't done that today?
Goldberg: What?
Vince: Yes, I was just sitting here writing storylines for TNA.
Goldberg: You didn't crank call me?
Vince: No.
Goldberg: Who could of that been? He had such a good Brooklyn accent.
Vince: I have a good idea.
(Vince calls Dexter)
Dexter: (Picks up the phone) Hello?
Vince: Dexter?
Dexter: Vince Russo? How you doing, bud?
Vince: Fine. Hey, was your hampster friend prank calling today.
Dexter: Yes.
Vince: That's all I needed to know.
Dexter: Alright, keep up the good work writing in TNA.
Vince: Thank you.
(They hang up)
(Later)
(Vince Russo and Goldberg bust through fuzzy and Jacks door)
Goldberg: So, you guys like making crank calls.
(Goldberg and Vince Russo beat up Fuzzy and Jack)
THE END.

"Special 100th Post Special"
(Daisy and Dexter are standing)
Dexter: Hello, I'm Dexter.
Daisy: And I'm Daisy.
Dexter: We would like to announce that it's the 100th post in the "Daisy and Dexter Quickies" section.
Daisy: Yay!
(Daisy gets a fireworks popper and makes it go off right in Dexter's face)
Dexter: Ow! I said the fireworks come later, moron!
Daisy: Sorry.
Dexter: Anyway, for this special, we'd like the take the oppertunity for the fans to decide what we do on the show.
Daisy: Opperators are standing by.
(Daisy and Dexter put phones right next to themselves)
Dexter: So, let the calling begin.
(Nobody calls)
(Daisy and Dexter wait)
Dexter: Any minute now.
(The phone doesn't ring)
Daisy: Phone companies must be on strike.
Dexter: Shut up, Daisy.
(They still wait)
(Dexter's phone rings)
(Dexter picks it up)
Dexter: Hello? What would you like us to do? No, I don't want to update my cable service. Nothing is good on T.V. anymore!
(Dexter slams the phone down)
Dexter: Dang it! Don't we have any fans?
(Daisy's phone rings so she picks it up)
Daisy: Hello? Oh... You'd like to see that? Okay.
(Daisy hangs up)
Dexter: Who was that?
Daisy: A fan?
Dexter: What does he or she want?
Daisy: She wants you to shut up for once.
Dexter: Ha! Good luck on that, there is no way that is going to...
(Dexter's lips are sealed shut)
Daisy: Cartoon magic amazes me.
(Dexter's phone rings)
Dexter: (Muphed) Hello?
Person on Phone: Who is this?
Dexter: (Muphed) Me.
Person on Phone: Ahh! A Demon!
(The person hangs up)
Dexter: (Gets angry and slams the phone on back down)
(Daisy's phone rings)
(Daisy picks it up)
Daisy: A boy on the phone and says he wants Dexter to talk again.
Dexter: (Lips unsealed) Praise goodness, I can talk again.
Daisy: Now, he says he wants an ice cream truck to fall on Dexter.
Dexter: What now?
(An ice cream truck falls on Dexter)
Dexter: OW!!
Daisy: He's changed his mind, he wants Dexter to stop talking again.
(Dexter's lips are sealed again)
Dexter: (Angry)
Daisy: Boy, are viewers must find enjoyment in Dexter's suffering.
Dexter: (Cries)
(Dexter's phone rings and he picks it up)
Person on Phone: I'd like to see Dexter sing the national anthem of Maldonia.
(Dexter lips are unsealed)
Dexter: It's about time!
Daisy: Well, Dexter. Sing the national anthem of Maldonia.
Dexter: What? Is that even a country?! (Nervous) Okay, I'll try. (Singing) Oh, Danny boy. The pipes the pipes are calling!
(People start booing)
Dexter: What? I don't know the national anthem to a country that I don't think exists!!
Person: He's un-Maldonian! Get him!
(They chase Dexter)
(Daisy's phone rings)
Daisy: (Picks it up) A fan would like this too end.
THE END (This quickie was sponsored by the Maldonian Awareness Foundation)

"Ask Dexter #4"
(Dexter is smoking a pipe and reading a book)
(Dexter looks up and is scared)
Dexter: Ahh! Don't you people ever knock? Well, anyway. I guess it's time for another "Ask Dexter."
(Classical music plays)
Dexter: Today, I'm going to answer more then one letter, let's get started. Larry Mikenson from Boise, Alaska writes... (Dexter reads) Dear Dexter, how come Smurfette is the only female Smurf? (Dexter stops reading) I'll tell you when you're older.
(Dexter throws the letter away)
Dexter: Will Youshutup from New York, California writes... (Dexter reads) Dear Dexter, why do I have to go to school? (Dexter stops reading) Because, if you stay at home watching Nickelodean all day, you'll be stupid.
(Dexter throws the letter away)
Dexter: Molly Windshield from Juenau, Antartica writes... (Dexter reads) Dear Dexter, If I have a bucket with five gallons of water in it, and another bucket with three gallons of water, how many buckets do I have? (Stopes reading) If you're too stupid to see how many buckets you have, then you aren't worth answering too.
(Dexter throws the letter away)
Dexter: Come to think of it, how would a girl from Antartica have buckets of water? It's so cold down there wouldn't they be ice?
(Dexter picks up another letter)
Dexter: Peter Smilluwitz from Belfast, Italy writes... (Dexter reads) Dear Dexter, do you like waffles? (Stops reading) No, Peter. If I eat them I die. Don't believe me?
(Dexter eats some waffles and then he turns into a skeleton)
Dexter: This has been "Ask Dexter," where if you ask me a stupid question, I'm going to give you a stupid answer.
(Dexter keeps reading his book)
THE END

"April Foolish"
(Dexter is lounging)
Dexter: If lounging is a crime, arresst me on the spot.
(An officer comes up and arrests Dexter)
Cop: Dexter, you're under arresst for lounging.
Dexter: What!? I didn't mean it! It's a figure off speech!
(The cop turns out to be Daisy)
Daisy: Got you! April Fools!
Dexter: Dagnabit, Daisy! You really scared me.
Daisy: Sorry, Dexter. I just got to get into the spirit of the holiday.
Dexter: I hate April Fools Day! Everyone always pulls a prank on me.
(Whiskers walks up to Dexter)
Whiskers: Hey, Dexter. Want some cookies.
Dexter: Okay.
(Dexter takes a bite out of a cookie)
Dexter: Bleh!
(Dexter spits it out)
Dexter: That tasted awful!
Whiskers: April Fools! Those weren't cookies, those were pieces of bread from 1956! (Laughs)
Dexter: Dang it! That's it, I'm not being fooled by anyone else!
(Sassy walks in)
Sassy: Hi, Dexter.
Dexter: (Hearts in his eyes) Hello, Sassy.
Sassy: Want to go out on a date with me?
Dexter: Boy, do I!
(Dexter runs up to Sassy and Sassy hits him and he flies into a wall)
Sassy: April Fools! I'll never let you take me out on a date.
Dexter: Dang it! That's it! I'm not being fooled by anyone else!
Daisy: That's what you said last time.
Dexter: Well, this time, I mean it!
(Fuzzy and Jack walk up to Dexter)
Fuzzy: Hey, Dexter.
Dexter: Oh, hi Fuzzy.
Jack: You want a piece of cat nip?
(Jack holds up a bag of cat nip)
Dexter: Ha, ha. Nice try. I know if I stick my paw in there, something is going to snap my hand.
Fuzzy: Nope.
Dexter: Well, in that case.
(Dexter sticks is paw in there and he feels a point)
Dexter: Ow! Hey, what was that?!
Fuzzy: April Fools!
Jack: That was a saringe. Now, you've got painkiller in your bloodstream.
Dexter: Jack, Fuzzy, I'm going to kill...!
(Dexter then gets high)
(Dexter looks at his paw)
Dexter: Woah, I've got a paw.
(Dexter looks at his other paw)
Dexter: Woah! I've got another one!
(Jack and Fuzzy start laughing and run away)
Dexter: Hey, don't laugh unless somethings funny. (Laughs)
(Dexter then shakes off and isn't high anymore)
Dexter: That is it! I'm going to pull the ultimate April Fools Day prank or die trying!
(Dexter offscreen)
(Later)
(Dexter then shows to built a big prank machine)
Dexter: Pure genius!
(Daisy walks up to him)
Daisy: Woah! What's that?
Dexter: It's the ultimate prank machine.
Daisy: How does it work?
Dexter: Simple. Someone just steps right here.
(Dexter steps on a big X)
Dexter: And then someone presses the start button.
(Daisy sees a start button on the machine)
Daisy: You mean this button?
Dexter: Yeah.
(Daisy presses it)
Dexter: Oh, no.
(Dexter is then pushes into a steam roller, then comes out flat and goes down a conveyor belt that brings him to a furnace and he is burned. Then, he is thrown into a area where and anvil, a plant, a piano and a ship land on his head. Then, he's tarred, feathered, looking like a chicken and is thrown into a sign that says, "April Fools, crackpot!")
Dexter: (Angry) Dang it! Now I can't get anybody for April Fools Day!
Daisy: Dexter, April Fools Day is over.
Dexter: What?!
Daisy: You've been working on that machine for seven days.
Dexter: Well, that was a waist of time. Well, at least this can't get any worse.
(Matty and Patty see Dexter looking like a chicken)
Matty: Look, sis! A genuine clucker!
Patty: Let's shoot it and eat it for dinna'!
Dexter: Uh, oh!
(Dexter runs as Matty and Patty chase after him, shooting at him)
Dexter: Get away from me you stupid raccoon rednecks!
Matty and Patty: Yee, haw!
Daisy: Happy April Fools Day, everyone.
The End

"Hospitaliky"
(Daisy and Dexter are walking down the street)
(They see a hospital)
Daisy: Woah, a hospital.
Dexter: Yes, it is.
Daisy: What's it for.
Dexter: I think it's were sick or hurt people go.
Daisy: Wow. Good thing we don't get hurt.
(Daisy and Dexter then trip over ladybugs and break their legs)
Dexter: Ow!
Daisy: That tickeld.
(Some paramedics heared Dexter's "Ow")
(The paramedics come and put one of the ladybugs on a stretcher and leave Daisy and Dexter laying there)
Dexter: Um, hello! Aren't you forgetting something?!
(The paramedics come back and pick up the other ladybug and run away)
(Dexter gets angry)
Daisy: Those ladybugs must be more hurt then we are.
(Later, shows Daisy and Dexter laying in the hospital with casts on their legs)
Dexter: Wow, this is great. Free food, comfortable beds, and no redneck neighbors. We've should've gotten hurt long ago.
Daisy: Yeah. Look what I can make my bed do.
(Daisy makes presse buttons on a remote and causes Dexter's bed to crush him)
Daisy: Oops.
(Dexter is hurt more)
Dexter: You moron! If I wansn't bed ridden, I would strangle you!
Daisy: Sorry, Dexter.
Dexter: Oh, it's alright. I guess it was just an accident. What could be worse?
(A bird flies in and lands on Dexter casted leg)
Dexter: Hey, get off of that! Shoo!
(The bird doesn't go)
Dexter: Oh, I'll show you.
(Dexter grabs a pipe)
Dexter: Sayonara!
(Dexter trys to hit the bird with the pipe but the bird flies away and Dexter hits his leg)
Dexter: Ow! The pain! This is worse then listening to Justin Biebar!
Daisy: Ow, that must hurt.
Dexter: Now I'm hungry. I guess I'll call a nurse for food.
(Dexter pushes the button and a nurse comes with food)
Dexter: That was fast.
(The nurse gives Dexter slop)
Dexter: Um, what's this?
Nurse: Slop.
Dexter: Where's the food?
Nurse: This is the food.
Dexter: Why?!
Nurse: We're going through a budget crisis. This is all we can affored. Chow down.
(The nurse leaves)
(Daisy starts eating the slop)
Daisy: Yum... My favorite.
Dexter: Dangit! Well... at least we have a TV.
(Dexter turns on the TV)
Dexter: Let's see whats on.
(Dexter changes the channel)
Announcer: Welcome to Disney Channel!
Dexter: Oh, heck no! (Changes channel)
Announcer: Welcome to Cartoon Network!
Dexter: Not on your life! (Changes channel)
Announcer: Welcome to Nick!
Dexter: Isn't there anything on that doesn't suck!? (Changes channel)
Announcer: Welcome to professional wrestling.
Dexter: I guess this is okay.
(Vince McMahon comes on the screen)
Vince: I'm Vince McMahon, and I have bought this wrestling product and I'm making kid friendly.
Dexter: (Turns the TV off) That's it, I'm outta here!
(Dexter gets out of his bed)
Dexter: Ow!
(Dexter starts walking and everytime he walks, it hurts his leg)
Dexter: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Daisy: Dexter, come back! You're leg still hurts!
Dexter: I don't care! Dealing with this pain is better then dealing with the pain at this hospital!
(Dexter walks away)
(The doctor stops him before Dexter can leave)
Doctor: Leaving?
Dexter: Yes! I'm getting out of this heckhole!
Doctor: Alright. Here's your bill.
(The doctor hands Dexter a bill)
(Dexter sees the total on the bill is $5000)
(Dexter dies due to seeing the bill)
(Dexter's ghost exits Dexter's body)
Dexter: With a price like that, I expected luxary.
THE END.

"Know Your Stars #3, #4, #5"
Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars.
(Show's Felix sitting in a chair)
Announcer: Felix the mouse, he sleeps with a teddy bear.
Felix: How did you kno...? I mean, I do not! Why would an evil genius like me sleep with a teddy bear! That's ridiculous!
Announcer: Felix the mouse, before he became a villain, he had a job at the Little Tikes Day Care Center.
Felix: What?! I never heard of such place! Becides, I hate children. I just want to roll them all up in a little ball and blow the ball up!
Announcer: Felix the mouse, he secertly wishes for world peace.
Felix: No! No! I wish for world war! Peace get you nowhere! If it was for peace, I'd be out of the job!
Announcer: Now you know, Felix the mouse.
Felix: Yeah, they know all the lies you told about me! Where are you!? I'm going to kill you! I may be small, but I can still kick tail! Hello!? I know where you live, you left your adress on this chair!
(It fades outs)
(Next one)
Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars.
(Shows Sassy in a chair)
Announcer: Sassy, before she takes her trash out, she sleeps in it.
Sassy: What?! I would never do that! That's just down right disgusting! Eww!
Announcer: Sassy, she has a crush on Justin Bieber.
Sassy: That no talent human boy? No way! He makes nails on a chalkboard sound like The Beatles.
Announcer: Sassy, she's secretly in love with Dexter.
Sassy: I am not! I hate him! He's a perverted freak that never leaves me alone. I got a restraining order against him because he kept burning his name on my sidewalk!
Announcer: Good cover up.
Sassy: It's not a cover up! I really, really, hate him!
Announcer: Now you know, Sassy.
Sassy: No they don't! They don't know anything about me! You're a lier! You're facts are just as bad as Vince McMahon's way of promoting wrestling! Who are you? Hello? Where am I?
(It fades out on her)
(Next one)
Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars.
(Shows Friskey and he's shivering)
Announcer: Friskey, he...
Friskey: Who is that?! What are you!? Are you a monster?!
Announcer: No, I...
Friskey: Are you inside my head, is my head talking to me again?
Announcer: Actually, I...
Friskey: Get out of my head! Get out!
(Friskey starts banging his head against the chair)
Announcer: Are you okay?
Friskey: No, I'm not! I'm trying to get you out of my head!
Announcer: I'm not in your head!
Friskey: Then where are you?
Announcer: I'm right here.
Friskey: I don't see you, then that mean's your a ghost!
Announcer: No, you moron, I'm...
Friskey: Ahh! A ghost!
(Friskey gets up and starts running around)
Announcer: (Sighs) Now you know, Friskey.
Friskey: Now who knows? Now you know about me? Leave me alone! Ahh!!
(Friskey keeps running around)
Announcer: (Under his breath) Wussy son of a gun.
THE END

"Hats Off, Your Crazy"
(A man is up in an apartment holding a hat)
Man: This hat caused me to go abosolutly insane. I'm throwing it out!
(He throws the hat out the window and it lands by Daisy)
Daisy: Cool! A hat that's a gift from the sky.
(Dexter walks by)
Daisy: Dexter, look at this cool hat that fell from the sky.
Dexter: Looks stupid.
Daisy: Can I keep it?
Dexter: Sure, I don't care. What's it going to do? Turn you absolutly crazy that you bend reality with surrealism? Yeah, right.
(Dexter goes and lays down)
(Daisy puts the hat on)
Daisy: Hey, I look nice in this...
(Daisy then spins around out of control)
(Daisy is now blue, which is the cool of the hat and she's crazy)
Daisy: Ssssssssolid!
(Daisy looks in the mirror at herself)
Daisy: It's party time. P A R T, WhY? Because I've just gotta!
(Daisy then sees Dexter)
Daisy: Ssh.
(Daisy creeps over to him)
(Daisy then makes a wide variety of noise but Dexter still sleeps)
Daisy: This guy is one heavy sleeper.
(Daisy picks up a huge anvil)
Daisy: So I'll just give him someing heavier.
(Daisy drops the anvil on Dexter, causing it to make a crater in the ground and it smashes Dexter)
(Dexter crawls out of the crater)
Dexter: Daisy, what in the name of Tex Avery did you do that for?!
Daisy: Because, I just had to you a secret.
Dexter: What is it?
Daisy: Make your ear face me)
(Dexter turns and his ear faces Daisy)
Daisy: Come closer.
(Dexter leans closer)
Daisy: Closer.
(Dexter leans closer)
Daisy: Closer.
(Dexter leans closer and his ear is to her mouth)
Daisy: (Yells in Dexter's ear) I don't have any secrets!!!!
(The yell causes Dexter's brain to come out)
(Daisy flips and goes crazy around the alley)
Dexter: (Puts his brain back in his head) Daisy, what the heck happened to you, and why are you blue!?
Daisy: I think blue brings the color out in my eyes.
(Daisy's eyes turn red)
Daisy: Or maybe not. (Laughs)
(Daisy puts a cigar in Dexter's mouth and lites it and it blows up in Dexter's face)
Daisy: When they say smokings bad for you, they're not kidding. (Laughs)
Dexter: (Notices the hat Daisy's wearing) It's that hat! It caused you to go nuts!
Daisy: Did someone say, "nuts"?
(Daisy spits a bunch of nuts at Dexter)
Dexter: Dang it! That hats coming off!
(Dexter jumps up and grabs the hat and Daisy's back to herself)
Daisy: I look good in this hat. Huh? What happened.
Dexter: This dang hat drove you crazy!
Daisy: Really?
Dexter: Yeah! It's cursed or something!
Daisy: Well, I guess when things fall out of the sky, they should be left alone.
Dexter: Dang right!
(Dexter throws the hat out in road)
Dexter: Well, I've had enough craziness for one night. I'm going to sleep.
Daisy: Me, too.
(Daisy and Dexter fall asleep)
(The hat is blown in the air and it lands on Dexters head)
(Dexter turns crazy)
Dexter: Ssssssssolid!
(Daisy wakes up)
Daisy: Uh, oh.
THE END

"Drugs are Bad"
(Daisy and Dexter are seen)
Dexter: Due to increasing critisms from Republicans, we are forced to air anti-drug PSAs.
Daisy: (Holding an egg) This is your brain.
(Daisy then picks up Dexter)
Dexter: What are you doing?
Daisy: And this is cocaine.
Dexter: Excuse me?
Daisy: (Puts the egg down) This is what happens to your brain after snorting cocaine.
(Daisy uses Dexter as a club and smashes the egg)
Dexter: Oww!
(Dexter has egg white all over him)
Daisy: This is what your body goes through, but it doesn't end there.
Dexter: Daisy, stop!
Daisy: This is what your family goes through!
(Daisy swings Dexter into dishes)
Dexter: Ow!
Daisy: Then your friends!
(Daisy swings Dexter into a table, breaking it)
Dexter: Ohh!
Daisy: And finally, your life!
(Daisy swings Dexter into a microwave and it explodes on him)
Dexter: Owie!
Daisy: Any questions?
Dexter: Yes, what the heck kind of drugs are you on?! You crazy dog!
(Next PSA)
(Sassy is talking on the phone)
Sassy: I'm just going to take a bath, I'll be over in a minute.
(Sassy goes to a tub and starts to lick herself)
(Sassy then see's blood on the tub floor)
(Sassy turns around to see Dexter in a fetal possition and he's all messed up)
Sassy: (Screams)
Dexter: Don't do it... Don't do it.
Sassy: Get out of my tub, you pervert!
Dexter: Sassy, wait!
(Sassy starts to beat Dexter up and she throws him out of the tub and he lands on his head)
Dexter: Is that anyway to treat a meth victum?
(Text come up that says, "Meth: Try it... If you dare.")
(Next PSA)
(Mrs. Bluejay is seen standing)
Mrs. Bluejay: Son, I was going to tell you about drugs. However, I didn't know what the right time would be. But, I was too late.
(The camera pans out to shows she's looking at a grave)
(A zombie comes out of the grave)
Zombie: Hey, I'm not your son, he's over there. (Points)
Mrs. Bluejay: (Gets mad) This is supposed to be his!
(Mrs. Bluejay picks up the zombie and smashes him into the shape of a can and she sets him down and walks away)
Zombie: Man, crazy woman.
Mrs. Bluejay: (Offscreen) I can hear you.
(The zombie jumps back into the grave)
THE END

"To Conserve and Protect"
Daisy: Dexter, my ball is over there, can you go get it?
Dexter: Sure.
(Dexter walks over to get the ball)
Daisy: Just watch out for the man eating plant right next to it.
Dexter: Huh?
(Dexter looks up and sees the man eating plant)
Dexter: Ahhh!!
(The plant lunges at Dexter)
Woman: Hold it!
(The screen pauses)
Woman: This act of violence is too violent for a kid show.
Dexter: Who the heck are you?
Ima: I'm Mrs. Badmother. Ima Badmother.
Dexter: I bet you are.
Ima: Anyway, your show it too violent and I'm here to tone it down.
Dexter: Another soccermom?
Daisy: And she doesn't even have a soccer ball.
Dexter: That's not what a soccermom is, stupid!
Ima: Soccermom is such an ugly word. We prefer the word, monitors.
Dexter: You're still a soccermom.
Ima: I'm here to make sure your show is suitable for children.
Daisy: Why?
Ima: Because I wouldn't want my little Timmy copying what he sees on TV.
Dexter: You know, you wouldn't have to do this if you just...
Ima: I'm going to press a button and you're going to hear a horn. That means you do something I don't approve of.
Dexter: You're doing something we don't approve of.
Ima: Anyway, proceed.
Dexter: Whatever.
Daisy: Did you get my ball?
Dexter: Go get it yourself, you dumb dog.
(Horn goes off)
Ima: Nope, not acceptable!
Dexter: What did I do?
Ima: You called your friend, "dumb."
Dexter: So, I always call her that.
Ima: Be nicer to her.
Dexter: This is stupid.
(Horn goes off)
Ima: Stupid isn't allowed either.
Dexter: Divot!
(Horn goes off)
Ima: That's not good either.
Dexter: That censor everything I say, for crying out loud!
Daisy: You have a dirty mouth, Dexter.
Dexter: Oh, shut up!
(Horn goes off)
Dexter: Now what?
Ima: You said, "shut up."
Dexter: So?
Ima: That's a bad word.
Dexter: No it ain't!
(Horn goes off)
Dexter: What? I didn't do anything.
Ima: You said, "ain't"
Dexter: What's wrong with that?
Ima: That isn't a word. I don't want my son hearing that and saying it.
Dexter: This wouldn't be a problem if you just sat down with your son and...
Ima: Proceed.
(A bug lands on Dexter's head)
Dexter: Daisy, get this bug off of my head!
Daisy: Okay!
(Daisy grabs a crowbar and is about to use it)
(Horn goes off)
Daisy: What now?
Ima: Don't use that crowbar.
Dexter: Why?
Ima: Because, that's violent.
Dexter: But it's funny!
Ima: There's noting funny about people hitting eachother with crowbars.
Dexter: You know what?! You think your so smart, why don't you make this show the way you want it to go.
Ima: Alright, I will.
(Later)
(Daisy and Dexter are sitting in chairs. They look very cutesy like)
Daisy: Lemonade, Dexter. I made it for you.
Dexter: Okay, Daisy. Thank you.
Daisy: I love you, Dexter.
Dexter: I love you, too.
(Daisy and Dexter loses ratings and is cancelled)
Dexter: (To Ima) Well, I hope you're happy. Your stupid version of the show caused people to stop watching and now we're out of the job.
Ima: Now, I don't have to worry about my son copying the violent behavior. My works done here.
Dexter: (Angry) You know, this never would of happened if you just sat down, told your son this is a cartoon and nothing in it's real, and been a good mother in the first place.
Ima: I could do that, but that's too hard.
Dexter: Wait a minute. If you're here, who's monitoring Timmy?
Ima: Oh, no.
(Shows Timmy with a rope around himself)
Timmy: My favorite show turned kid friendly and now it's cancelled. Goodbye, cruel world!
(Shows him jumping off a box)
Ima: I left him home alone. I'm such a bad mother. (She walks away)
Dexter: Finally, she admits it!
Daisy: To think, if parents would just be parents then cartoons could be cartoons.
Dexter: You're dang right.
(Horn goes off)
Dexter: Oh, screw you, network!
The End

"Ask Dex...I mean, Daisy #5"
(Shows Daisy smoking a pipe and reading a book)
(Daisy sees the camera)
Daisy: Oh, konnichewa. I didn't see you there. Hello, and welcome to "Ask Daisy." Dexter is currently recovering from a blender accident, so I'm taking his place.
(Classical music plays)
Daisy: Fred Dinstone from Springfield, Greenland writes... (Daisy reads the letter) Dear Daisy, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (Daisy stops reading) That's a nice question. How many he wants too.
(Daisy puts the letter in a paper shredder and picks up another letter)
Daisy: George Stetson from Witchata, Wasington writes... (Daisy reads the letter) Dear Daisy, I have a bruse on my back. However, I don't know how it got there. There was one time when I dreamed my dad was beating me while I was sleeping. Where do you think that bruse came from? (Daisy stops reading and she looks shocked) Fine question, Billy. That bruse must of came from aliens zapping you with things. That's right, and that dream you had was something the aliens put in your head to keep you distracted. So, to keep aliens away, be sure to sleep with garlic around you're neck.
(Daisy feeds the letter to her venus fly trap)
Daisy: Alan Alen from Hershey, China writes... (Daisy reads the letter) Dear Daisy, I heard you are a big Beatles fan. Which is your favorite Beatle? (Daisy stops reading) Finally, a good question. My favorite beatle is a lady bug.
(Daisy throws the letter away)
Daisy: I. C. Weirdthings from Alabama, Georgia writes... (Daisy reads the letter) Dear Daisy, I was snooping around the house one day when I saw my mom sniffing a white powder that looked like sugar. What is it? (Daisy stops reading) Daisy, it's exactly what you said. It's sugar. Adults sniff it for hyperactivity. It's also used to cure headaches. You might want to try it sometimes.
(Daisy is done with the letters)
Daisy: This has been, "Ask Daisy." Dexter will be back next time to give more intellegent answers to your questions then I did. (Daisy starts smoking the pipe again and then she coughs) What am I doing? I don't smoke. Plus, there's no tobacco in here, just shredded Chinese newspapers. (Reads the newspaper) Whatdaya know? Bruce Lee's dead.
THE END

"Ding Dong Ditchers"
(Fuzzy and Jack run up to a house and ring the doorbell and they run away)
(A man comes out)
Man: Hello? Who's there? That's odd.
(The man goes back inside)
(Fuzzy runs up and rings the doorbell again and runs away)
(The man comes out again)
Man: Hello? Whoever you are, this isn't funny!
(The man goes back inside)
(Jack runs up and rings the doorbell and runs away)
(The man comes out again)
Man: Hello? That's it! You're really starting to tick me off! The next time this doorbell rings! Someone's going to get it!
(The man goes back inside)
(A girlscout goes up to the door)
(The girlscout rings the doorbell)
Girlscout: Girlscout coo...
(The man opens the door and punches the girlscout in the eye causing her to fall down)
Man: That's what you get for making me do exercise!
(The man goes back inside)
(Fuzzy and Jack are laughing)
Fuzzy: That was great!
Jack: Yeah! Ding, dong, ditch is fun!
Fuzzy: Let's go do this at the old woman's home.
Jack: Yeah.
(Fuzzy and Jack walk away, leaving the girlscout)
Girlscout: Help...me...
(Fuzzy goes up to the old woman's home and rings the doorbell and runs away)
(Old woman comes out)
Old Woman: Is someone coming to visit me? (Sad) I guess not...
(The woman goes back inside)
(Jack runs up and rings the doorbell and runs away)
(The Old Woman comes out)
Old Woman: Hello? Hello? Won't somebody please visit me?
(The Old Woman goes back inside)
(Fuzzy runs up to the door and rings the doorbell again and runs away)
(Old Woman comes out)
Old Woman: That's it! The next person to ring this doorbell, I'm pulling them in, and they're dang well going to freakin' visit me!
(A salesman comes up to the door and rings the doorbell)
(The old woman comes out)
Salesman: Good afternoon, madame. I represent the...
Old Woman: Ooh, a man!
(The Old Woman grabs the saleman and pulls him in her house)
(Jack and Fuzzy are laughing)
Fuzzy: Oh, my gosh! It never gets old!
Jack: You're right. (Laughs)
Fuzzy: Now, let's go prank someone we know.
Jack: Good idea.
(Fuzzy runs up to Daisy and Dexter's door and rings the doorbell and runs away)
(Daisy comes out)
Daisy: Hello? Anyone there? That's strange.
(Daisy goes back in)
(Jack runs up to the door and rings the doorbell and runs away)
(Daisy come out with a bowl of candy)
Daisy: Trick or treaters? Who wants candy? Wait, it's not Halloween.
(Daisy goes back in)
(Inside the alley)
Dexter: Daisy, what the heck's going on?
Daisy: The doorbell keeps ringing, but everytime I go to the door, nobody is there.
Dexter: Well, it's annoying, and I'm going to put a stop to it!
(The doorbell rings)
(Dexter grabs some glue and goes outside the door)
Dexter: (Acting) Hello?! Oh, nobody's here? Well, that stinks! I'm getting angry!
(Dexter puts glue in front of the door and walks back inside)
(Fuzzy and Jack are laughing)
Fuzzy: Look's like this is time for one more ring.
(However, Mrs. Bluejay lands in front of Daisy and Dexter's door and rings the doorbell, however, she's stuck in the glue)
Mrs. Bluejay: What the...? Glue?
(Dexter comes out)
Dexter: Now I got you, you dagnab dingers!
(Dexter wacks Mrs. Bluejay with a mallet but doesn't relise it's her until ten wacks with the mallet)
Dexter: (Nervous) Oh, hello Mrs. B... Fancy seeing you.
Mrs. Bluejay: I was just dropping by to give you some cookies, (Angry) But now you've made me mad!
(Mrs. Bluejay gets out of the glue and grabs Dexter)
Mrs. Bluejay: (Angry) I'm going to make chunky peanut butter out of you!
(Mrs. Bluejay takes Dexter inside and beating is heard)
(Fuzzy and Jack are laughing)
Fuzzy: That was hilarious! We are the best ding dong ditchers!
Jack: Yeah, and people are too stupid to know it was us all along.
(They keep laughing)
(Then, they turn around and see the blackeyed girlscout, the salesman with lip marks all over his face, and Dexter in a peanut butter jar)
Fuzzy: Uh, oh.
Girlscout: Let's get them boys!
Dexter and Salesman: Yeah!
Fuzzy and Jack: Ahh!!
(Fuzzy and Jack run away as the girlscout and salesman run after them, but Dexter is left in the road)
Dexter: Hey! Wait! I wanna beat them up, too, but I can't because I'm in a freaking peanut butter jar! Dang it! How could this get any worse?
(An elephant is right next to Dexter)
Dexter: Oh...dear.
THE END

"Know Your Stars #6 and (A New Segment) Interviews from Heck."
Announcer: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars.
(Shows Whiskers sitting in a chair)
Announcer: Whiskers, he sat next to a caveman in third grade.
Whiskers: What?! I can't hear you, my hearing aid ain't working!
Announcer: Whiskers, he got his leg shot off in the Revolutionary War.
Whiskers: I heard you that time. Yes, you're right. I did get my leg shot off in the Revolutionary War.
(Tears his fake leg off)
Whiskers: See? This one's fake.
Announcer: Whiskers, he's so old, he has more wrinkles then a carpet made by pug.
Whiskers: I'd take that as a compliment. Back in my day, having the most wrinkles was considered a blessing. In fact, let me tell you a story...
(Five hours go by)
Whiskers: And the reason why Napolian always had his arm in his shirt was because I broke it in a pool game with him and he never got it fixed.
Announcer: (Sleeping)
Whiskers: Now, you know me.
(Whiskers gets up and walks out)
Whiskers: Ow, my back.

"Interviews from Heck: Daisy and Dexter"
(Daisy and Dexter are sitting in chairs)
Interviewer: First off, how did you two meet?
Daisy: I was walking around, rich as ever, and I saw this little cat in the streets begging for food. I gave him a $100 bill and told him to get him something nice.
Dexter: I then went and bought a bunch of milk and got drunk off it it.
Daisy: Typical hobo.
Dexter: We've known eachother since.
Interviewer: Daisy, how were you rich?
Daisy: I was a famous opera singer and I made lots of money. I was lucky to make that kind of money due to the fact opera was deader then Jimmy Hoffa at a cemetary during that time.
Interviewer: How did you too get to work on this show?
Dexter: I saw that on a studio that were looking for stray cats as extras in the "Stuart Little" movies. I was offered only 1 cent and I then went next door to Shad TV and they put me in the show.
Daisy: I was hired because they said Dexter needed a sidekick.
Interviewer: Do you two talk much outside of work?
Dexter: No, I try to make conversation, but she never wants to talk. It wouldn't kill you to return your messages, Daisy!
Daisy: Maybe I would do that if your messages weren't so threatening.
(Daisy plays one of Dexter's messages)
Dexter on Answering Machine: Daisy! It's Dexter, I need $1,000. I lost all of my money at the horse track. Help! They're going to take my thumbs! Wait, I don't have any thumbs!
Dexter: That wasn't threatening! I needed you're help and I... Wait a minute, what the heck are we saying? None of this happened!
Daisy: It didn't? I thought so. I was just reading the cue cards the man's holding up.
Dexter: Hey, buddy? What's the big idear?
Interviewer: Um, I've got to go!
(The interviewer runs away)
Dexter: Dagnab media.
Daisy: I guess it's true, you can't believe everything you see on TV.
THE END

"The Unhappiest Place on Earth"
(Daisy and Dexter walk by a carnival that's going on)
Daisy: Ooh, Dexter, can we go to the carnival?
Dexter: Heck, no! Carnivals stink. It's nothing more then a big scam to steal money from little children.
Daisy: Aww, but Dexter.
Dexter: No.
Daisy: Fine, I'll do this.
(Daisy holds her breath)
Dexter: Pah, that's not going to work. That's the oldest trick in the book.
Daisy: (Holds her breath longer)
Dexter: You'll open it any minute now.
(Daisy keeps holding)
Dexter: Any minute now.
(Daisy is starting to change colors)
Dexter: Okay, you're starting to worry me.
(Daisy keeps holding)
Dexter: Cut it out!
(Daisy falls over)
Dexter: Fine, we'll go to the stupid carnival!
(Daisy gets up)
Daisy: Yay! That trick never fails.
(Dexter goes up to the clerk)
Dexter: Excuse me, sir.
(The clerk doesn't see them)
Clerk: Who said that? Is it ghosts!? I don't want to be probed again! Ahh!
(The man jumps out of the box and runs away)
Daisy: Looks like we don't have to pay.
Dexter: I like this place already.
(Daisy and Dexter walk around the carnival)
(A bunch of crying is heard)
Dexter: Man, children suck. All they ever do is whine and cry. You'd never see an adult doing that.
(An adult that's crying walks by)
Dexter: I stand corrected.
Daisy: (Stops and sees a ride) Ooh, I wanna ride that one!
(It's a kiddy ride called, "The Bedtime Story.")
Dexter: Oh, come on, Daisy! Why don't you want to ride something that's cool? Like, that one!
(Dexter points to a roller coaster with a bunch of clips called "The Scarinator")
Daisy: I don't know, Dexter. It looks scary.
Dexter: That means is fun, now come on.
(Daisy and Dexter go to "The Scarinator")
(Daisy and Dexter go through the main gate without the clerk stopping them)
Clerk: I know they're too short, but if they get killed, it's not my fault.
(Daisy and Dexter get in a car and sit down)
Daisy: I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared.
Dexter: Oh, stop being such a wuss, Daisy. If you want to make it in life, you've got to learn to stop being worried all the ti...
(Dexter notices he's too short to grab the handle bars)
Dexter: Oh, no.
(The ride starts)
(It goes really fast)
(Dexter is hanging onto the bar for dear life)
Dexter: (Screams like a girl)
(The ride gets over and Dexter is scared to death)
Dexter: That...was...freaky.
(Daisy had a good time)
Daisy: Wow! That was awesome! Can we go again.
Dexter: No! Let's take a break from rides. Let's just walk around.
(Daisy and Dexter exit the ride)
(A little kid comes out grabbing his stomach)
Kid: I don't feel so good.
Daisy: Maybe you should see a doctor.
(The kid pukes on Dexter)
Dexter: Aww, my good coat!
(Dexter gets angry)
Dexter: I'm going to beat you so hard, you're clothes will hurt.
(A woman hits Dexter with her purse)
Mom: How dare you yell at my son. It's not his fault you were in the way of his vomit.
(The mom and son walk away)
Dexter: I REALLY hate kids.
(Daisy and Dexter walk around being yelled at by carney's running carney games)
Carney #1: Come on, everyone's a winner... (Under his breath) Yeah, right.
Carney #2: It's fun, it's easy, and it puts bread on my table.
Carney #3: Hey, cat and dog. Why aren't you trying any of our games?
Dexter: Because I'm not stupid. I know all of your games are rigged and there is not possible way to win them. You just have these to steal money from people.
Carney #3: But, my game is the easiest to win.
Dexter: Really?
Carney: Yeah, all you got to do is tell what color the sky is and you win a big prize. All I need is $100.
Dexter: Really? In that case...
(Dexter gives him $100)
Dexter: Unless you're a Nick sitcom star, the sky is blue.
Carney #3: That is correct!
Dexter: Yes! What's my prize?
(The Carney gives Dexter a piece of grass)
Dexter: This is a piece of grass!
Carney #3: Exactly.
Dexter: But, you said I would win a big prize!
Carney #3: Right. I didn't say how big it was, though. Sucker!
(The carney runs off with Dexter's money)
Dexter: (Getting angry)
Daisy: I think it's a nice slice of grass.
Dexter: That's it!! We're outta here!
Daisy: But, I haven't had any Funnel Cake yet.
Dexter: I can't get you any because that punk stole all of my money!
Daisy: But, it's free.
(Daisy has two funnel cakes)
Daisy: I even got one for you.
Dexter: Well, I could use some sweet stuff after all the horrible events I went through.
(Daisy and Dexter eat funnel cake)
Daisy: Mm...
Dexter: This is good.
(Daisy and Dexter over hear a conversation the funnel cake maker and his friend have)
Person: So, chef. Where would you like the rat poison?
(Daisy and Dexter get disgusted)
Chef: Put it right next to the medical waste.
(Daisy and Dexter get more disgusted)
Person: In between that the container that says, "Human Brains," and, "Expired Sugar"?
Chef: Yes.
(Daisy and Dexter spit the funnel cake out)
Dexter: Let's get the heck out of here!
(Daisy and Dexter run away)
Chef: Whatdoya know. They actually thought I put that stuff in my funnel cake.
Person: You don't?
Chef: No, the rat poison is for rats, the medical waste is due to the fact I work for a hospital voulentaraly, and I was about to throw that expired sugar away.
Person: What about the human brains?
Chef: There are some things I can't tell you. Then I would have to kill you.
(The chef and the person laugh)
Chef: Seriously, I would have to kill you.
(The person suspiciously walks away)
THE END
Yet another batch of mini fics starring my original characters, Daisy and Dexter.

"Know Your Stars," is owned by Nickelodeon.
© 2011 - 2024 Ben-the-looney
Comments0
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In